My latest article on iBelieve has me rattled.
The pieces I choose are generally topics that come from a place of growth. Areas I’ve been challenged in and still wrestle through.
I suspect I’ll be on this course of struggling and growth until the day I die. We all are. The sooner we realize we haven’t, and won’t, “arrive” until we’re with Jesus in heaven, the sooner we can find rest in the presence of Jesus here on earth.
Authenticity is a huge deal for me. If I’m going to write about something, I better be living it and prepared to keep growing in it. So, I’m tested by the content I put out.
I write about hard things. Sometimes they’re hard because not only am I growing, but because of I’ve been accused of not living what I teach. This hasn’t happened a lot, but when it does it causes me to question myself.
What if I’m not living what I believe?
What if I’m wrong?
I suspect I’ll be on on this course for some time too. The course of dealing with doubt and living with humble confidence.
When others accuse, the questioning is OK to an extent.
I’m likely to write about areas that are sensitive to human hearts. I expect to endure harsh words at times. I anticipate facing the truth of my sinful heart and the also truth of God’s desire for the heart work he calls us to do.
If questioning words and accusations from others drive me to God’s heart, good.
If it causes me to reflect and respond on God’s Word, then thank goodness for the tension questions bring.
When people react strongly, it could be that something struck a nerve.
Projection occurs. This is what happens when we rail against another with accusations, but really the issue we’re claiming is theirs is actually ours. We blame others for what we struggle with. These tactics breed hypocrisy and sow discord.
The tension between receiving what other’s say and letting God have the finally say is a tough one.
I don’t want to stand on pride, as if it’s just me and God. I need wise counsel and safe people in my life. I need to be willing to ask hard questions like, “Do you see this in me?” or, “How do you see this in me?”
I also don’t want to crumble in fear as if what God says about me isn’t true.
Somewhere in the middle is where we meet God in struggle. We work it out in community.
When tension rises, there is the possibility that we are wrong. At least to some extent.
We need to let God and safe people speak to us in ways that help us grow so we can do what’s so very hard to do.
Like what I wrote for iBelieve.
Find The Courage to Be Wrong and Admit It
~ gulp ~
This may be my Achilles heel. The thorn in my flesh. The hardest thing I need to embrace.
I’m even more afraid to say I’m wrong when I believe my confession will be used against me. When it relieves another person of the wrong they’ve done, as if it’s mine to pardon in the first place.
It takes courage y’all.
Courage to face the fear of exposure and ask God to help you walk right into it. He gives the courage we need to humble our pride and receive his provision. He will cover you with robes far greater than the cloak of pride.
There’s freedom on the other side of admitted failure and it comes by walking through it.
So, I’ll continue. I’ll keep leaning in no matter how scary it is. Even though I’d rather pretend it’s not there. I’ve failed an innumerable amount of times and I suspect I will again, but it’s not my goal.
To stand bare before my Lord with thoughts of His suffering on the cross while I stand there sure of myself and cloaked in pride, my heart bends.
When tensions rise in this struggle, they rise between the version of ourself we’re propping up and the real version hidden underneath. And the version God is molding and shaping us into.
Tensions rise when we feel the need to be right in order to feel right in the world, but it’s contrary to the righteousness of God. The same tensions produce fruit when we allow the Spirit of God to speak and we respond to what He asks us to change about ourselves.
Reliance on the Spirit makes way for admitting when we’re wrong.
I don’t suspect any of us take these next steps without feeling some level of fear. I also don’t suspect that God expects us to be rid of fear before we walk in faith. He calls us towards Him, we follow in obedience, and faith grows along the way.
If you feel this fear too, know that God is with you dear one.
Whatever it is that you’re holding on to, if it’s sin it’s destroying you.
Where you have been wrong, our Savior has already poured out sacrificial love for you. It cannot be undone.
When we admit we’ve been wrong, we make space to receive what He’s already done.