Sometimes you are tired. So, so, so tired.

Sometimes tiredness comes from physical exhaustion when there’s not enough rest over a period of time.

Sometimes it’s an emotional and mental exhaustion from dealing with life’s challenges and the hurt and pain you and others around you experience.

Sometimes it’s a combination of both and it brings you to your knees.

Self-care when stress overloads

Either way, you might be so tired…that as you are half-awake thinking about how tired you are, you grab a bowl. Then you kind of think, a little, about how you really should get more bowls because there never seems to be enough that are clean. Or maybe you should just clean them. Then you realize that you are about to pour coffee into that bowl.

Finally, you remember your thoughts about being tired and realize that today is a good day to do very little.

My hand is raised. I admit it. I am tired. Now that I’ve admitted it, I have my own multi-step plan for recovery.

It began with sleep. It’s amazing how our bodies are designed by God to refuel and recharge with simple, restful sleep.  Of course, as I was able to start this program, my body cued me in its deep need for more rest by falling prey to illness yet again. As my lungs and body said, “rest more” I decided it was a good time to continue my recovery plan.

Hours of Recovery

My recovery has begun with hours of watching mindless shows, hours of reading heart changing non-fiction, and hours of reading laughter-inducing light fiction.

I’ve spent hours of soaking in God’s word, hours of deep prayer and crying out to God, hours of listening to soothing, inspirational music. There have been hours of listening to sermons about prayer and about who I am in Christ.

I’ve especially enjoyed hours with my youngest children to simply meander through the stores with barely an agenda as we just enjoyed being together. In a span of almost two weeks now, among all of these hours, I’ve rested and slept more. I’ve “done” very little.

I’ve planted a few seeds in the garden and pulled a few weeds. I’ve prepared a few meals, spent time with a few friends, gone out of the home a few times.

Most amazingly, for those of you who know me well, I have organized and worked on the last of our unpacking from this large move…only a few hours worth.

That’s a feat for this overdoing woman.

If you are reading this and don’t understand why I am “so tired”, maybe you want to know about our move to a ranch to take care of 13 foster children over the last 15 months. Or, from what I just said, you can surmise many reasons why I might be tired.

Fulfilling this calling of God, to go somewhere and do something that was so beyond me, required the grace and strength of God on a daily basis. Many times I knew there was nothing else I could do and all that could be done was to cry out to God and to trust Him for what was needed.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;I have no good apart from you. – Psalm 16:1-2

The depth of my need for Christ in all things was recognized. Seeing how much I need to trust that God really is who He says He is and that He can do all that He says He can do, was greatly felt. I am continuing to learn this in many new ways.

Our season of intensity has come to a close. God proved abundantly faithful and amazingly gracious during this time of transition. Even so, transition and challenges continue.

This amazing, yet exhausting, adventure brought me to my knees- prostrate before my Lord.

Now we are home again. Now we are five again. For now, I rest.

This post is the first one of several written in the early years of healing after serving as foster parents. They include broken thinking, rambling thoughts, and a fight to survive as well as a desperate clinging to the hope only God can give. I pray God uses my story as an encouragement to those in the midst of the battle. You have God with you even now.



Share This