I originally planned a different post for this first day of #31DaystoBelieve. Because, really, starting off with wanting to believe lies? Not my idea of the way to begin an encouraging series.
Maybe I’ll post what I wrote tomorrow, I don’t know. What I do know is that life’s circumstances hit pretty dang hard yesterday. Again.
My brain knows this is part of life, these challenges and trials which seem to hit one after another after another.
My body say, I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired. And good grief, can we just stop all the craziness already? I thought we were beyond that.
My heart says, I’m worn. I’m loved. I need God. I need hope.
Over the last few years I’ve spent a whole lot of time seeking the Lord and pursuing healing. A slow, necessary process. Without the hard work, and allowing the Spirit to bring pain to the surface so healing could occur, the events of yesterday would have taken me back to a dark place, where I might have stayed.
I was tempted. I was drawn to despair, but this underlying peace kept trying to bubble back to the surface.
I cried. A lot. I wanted to stay in bed. I wanted to give up on writing all together. I wanted to give up on the call on my life to pursue hope & inspire faith. I wanted to just toss it all and pretend life around me didn’t exist.
I wanted to give in to the lies of the enemy.
He pretty much snarled, but in that oddly enticing way in which the enemy works. He said, “Give it up already.” “See how much pain it’s costing you to keep trusting?” And…“No one wants to hear from you.” Which translates into you “You’re worthless.”
Grrr…nasty words from a foul and nasty word wielder, leading to nasty beliefs.
And the bugger of all bugging lies, “He doesn’t care anymore & neither should you.”
As my heart sunk deeper and tears soaked my pillow, I considered agreeing with these lies. Which is exactly what the enemy wants. But the deeper beliefs of my heart, and the nudging of the Holy Spirit. remind me of truths I’ve soaked in before.
I must fight. Not man, not my circumstances, and not myself. I must fight the enemy & fight the lies with God’s truths.
When the Bible says that the enemy seeks to kill, to destroy and to devour, it’s a truth we ought remember well. The enemy includes an army of fallen angels who work in spiritual battles we can not see. Every single day.
Our very real enemy is also a very real enemy of the King of Kings and the God who loves us. He seeks to oppose God and oppose us when we draw near to God.
The enemy seeks to render us useless as vessels for the kingdom.
God desires to work in us for our good and His glory.
Whom will we listen to?
God’s army is greater & more powerful and He calls us to arm ourselves in spiritual battle. He calls us to align our will and our obedience with Him as we actively fight the enemy of our souls.
We fight with a God who fights on our behalf. {2 Chronicles 20:17, Romans 8:34, Exodus 14:14}
This battle with our enemy isn’t won by the beating of our chests & powering through. In fact, at times, the battle looks like giving up. Not giving up on God’s truths, but on our often unyielding will so that we can trust the God who supplies all we need.
The battle sometimes looks like tears. Weeping over the pains of life which gives ourselves a chance to connect with the emotional beings we are. We come face to face with grief, hurt, fear & shame. God is gracious enough to meet us there and give us strength.
We might choose to battle alone and thereby give up and give in to the lies, which ultimately leads to death. Or we can choose to fight with the Lord as we grow in faith and trust His ability over our own.
When the enemy comes knocking and our circumstances comes crashing, our mere thoughts about God won’t be enough to fight the battles. We need to believe. Really, truly, deep in our hearts believe.
Join me for #31DaystoBelieve as we continue to pursue what we believe and how it impacts our lives.
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May we learn to #livewell.
with love,
Jolene
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Beautiful authentic post, friend!
Thank you, friend.
Big ‘ol thumbs up to this one, Jolene. I’ve been sick for a week now and the Enemy is definitely coming after me. I’m laying here on the couch just remembering that God loves me, no matter what.
Ugh, I totally get that Marie. Amen to fighting back the lies with God’s truths!
I can totally relate to the tired and weary and tired of being tired…so happy you “powered through” and kept God’s words deep in your heart; yet, not so deep that you couldn’t pull His words to mind when the enemy was striking!
Thank you for sharing these truths; I’m “all in” to join you in your journey to Believe!
I think sometimes the first step to JOY and healing is acknowledging that there is a public enemy #1. Believing and claiming the Truth is our best defense. Some great words here, Jolene. I’m so thankful that you are clinging to His truths and promises today, my friend. Prayers for healing.
Dear Jolene,
This post is 3 years old now..but your message is timeless and remains so true. I can relate with how you felt.