There are days when you need to weep.
And then you need to dance.
Dance like David who rejoiced over the presence of the Lord. {2 Samuel 6}.
Because when you weep for the wrecking of your soul, to dance like David may be the balm to rebuild it.
Today is another day where the need for God’s voice spoken over me is desperate. The need to know His presence is great, even though I know.
A few years back in small group we were asked how we can know that we are saved. A very spunky lady stood out with her answer, as she often did. “I just know in my knower that I know, that I know. You know?”
I get it. When it comes to having a relationship with my Father in heaven, I know, that I know, that I know that it is true.
Even so, as much as my head ascends to the uncompromising, unceasing and unhindered grace and love available to me, my knower gets stuck. I don’t live as if I believe.
My head knows one thing while my heart cries out just the opposite. Something is broken. Maybe my knower is a part of my soul? Maybe it resides in a part of my heart where the hurt crouches near?
I can think logically and rationally all day long about very important and wonderful theological concepts, but if it’s not buried in my heart, deep in my knower, it will not move me as I need to be moved. Transformation is limited. Posssibly, probably, blocked out completely.
Today, my head knows I am redeemed, loved, and empowered by the Spirit. Deeply engrained in me are the truths that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. But something in my heart still shakes in fear, sadness, anxiety and more.
True, some of it is due to the after effects of extreme stress and years of dealing with certain issues. Some of it is physical and I’m seeking help.
Yet, there is also a spiritual element. I feel it. This much I do know; the enemy wants to take me down through any means possible.
Even more, my heart knows something that turns my eyes heavenward. It’s a truth that clings tightly as the Spirit nudges me towards Him.
God will allow trials for my growth and His glory. And this is a good thing.
Some days, though, I just don’t like it. My knower feels broken. My soul feels robbed of joy. But joy is not lost. It’s just hidden.
Weeping allows me to accept the pain to hand it over to the Father.
Then, released of carrying the burden any longer, I must dance.
At first, it’s just in my heart. Sometimes it’s with my voice. Sometimes it’s knee-slapping, hand raising, feet hopping, all-out dancing.
When His truths are soaked up through praise, scripture, study, and song there is a refilling of all that the enemy keeps trying to steal, the sense of peace from knowing that I know, that I know that I am His and He is mine.
And He is.
This I know.
Powerful post today! I love your words above-Because when you weep for the wrecking of your soul, to dance like David may be the balm to rebuild it. Those words drop me to my knees in gratitude that our mourning does turn into dancing because of the love of a forgiving and gracious God. Hugs friend!
Thank you Mary. I love that you were dropped to your knees, as I am. Rejoicing that today is a new day! :)
Agreeing with Mary. Such a powerful AND beautiful post. “God will allow trials for my growth and His glory. And this is a good thing.” As I study the life of Moses God has truly been revealing this truth to me. Much love to you, friend. xoxo
Thank you so much Beth. I’m loving that I get to follow you on your journey back to normal. So, so happy for you both. Blessings!
Hi Jolene…stopping over from Coffee for Your Heart. Thank you for your post today…speaks right to my heart – I’m in the same place.
Bless you,
Lynne
Thank you Lynne. In my prayers today I will be praying for you as well.
I love that song- truths that our heart needs to sing.:) Praying for victorious, “overcoming” moments today.
Thank you dear friend. I think today I’ll just START with this song! :)
“God allows trial for my growth and His glory.” MY knower knows this it just needs to remember this! Great post!
Thanks Alecia. So fun connecting with you. :)
This is beautiful, Jolene. I love the thoughts of having “a knower” that gets stuck or hidden…mine goes there a lot. I shake in fear, I doubt, I question…but I do KNOW that I know that I know that I’m His and He is mine and the reminder that it’s ok to have all of these insecurities is good, because I know I’m eternally secure in His love and truth. Bless you, friend!
So appreciate your kind words Meredith. I’m glad we get each other. XOXO
I know in my knower! I love that! And I needed it today. It’s been a weepy time for me as I’ve traveled over a difficult date on the calendar. Thank you for this. Yes! My knower just knows!!
Oh dates can be tough. I get that. Prayers with you today Deb!
Have you ever looked into the stages of moral development theory? It’s pretty fascinating–what the authors propose is that we make changes or developments at two different levels–one in our heart and one in our ‘knower’. Our heart understands first, but it always takes awhile for our ‘knower’ to get tugged over the line into the next stage.
Never heard of it but it sounds interesting. We are complex people aren’t we? I like that, “takes awhile for our ‘knower’ to get tugged over”.
Thank you, Jolene, for understanding my heart. My knower gets stuck, too. I’m so grateful He is greater than all the anxiety, fear, and sadness in our hearts!
Amen Trudy!
This is so true – “God allows allows trials for our growth and His glory”. As much as I’d rather skip the trials and the tears, those are the times I grow the most and grow closest to Him. He turns our tears into joy.
Hi Jolene – I am visiting from Tell His Story, I felt like I was reading something I wrote! Thank you for sharing this, I am just happy to sit here and stop by and say yes amen – this is it! I am exactly where you describe – exactly! Thank you for sharing, I know I needed to stop by today on this post, God knew. May you be mightily blessed Aliyah (www.setapartwarrior.blogspot.com)
I can so relate to all of this, Jolene. Absolutely beautiful post! I love this line “joy is not lost, it’s just hidden.” Couldn’t have said it better, friend. I’m so glad I read this today!
Thank you for sharing. Your writing spoke to my heart today.
Very nice! I like the last picture and the bible verse with it!
Thank you so much for sharing. Stopping by from the United Linkup. I really enjoy your honesty. It’s so refreshing
This song has been playing in my heart over and over. I love the answer about knowing that we know what we know. My daughter told me something similar the other day and it caused me to stop and laugh right out loud. I haven’t laughed a lot lately and I knew it was one of those moments that made me just stop and stare the situation right in the face and just like dancing can stomp out the weariness, laughter, too.. is a balm to the soul.
We dance here, when the pressure is deep and as we dance.. we laugh. It opens the door to heaven’s blessings and pours down joy. Praying for you to feel joy, Jolene!
Bless you!
Dawn