For several years I wrote an annual family Christmas letter to highlight notable events & life changes. After the first year of doing so, it became harder & harder to keep up with. Unfortunately, I’m not good at planning ahead & always struggled to get a Christmas photo done, especially when time with my step-son was limited to every other weekend. But I kept trying.
I kept trying because I felt obligated. I figured I had to do it. Once you start, can you really stop?
I had it all figured in my mind; y’all were expecting it. Right? Or not. I thought you might be miffed if you sent me a card & I didn’t send one in return.
Surely, I needed to rise to self-imposed standards for Christmas making.
I was wrong.
Sometimes it takes a lot to get into this thick skull of mine, but it’s starting to sink in and take hold. I love the idea of Christmas cards & I love the thoughts of people reaching out to each other at least this one time a year anyway. But somehow, it all lost its luster. I couldn’t keep up & other things filled my time & priorities.
Not writing a Christmas letter & not mailing it, after Christmas as usual, means what? Is it the reason we stopped receiving Christmas cards ourselves? Or is that simply a result of others doing the same thing? I wonder.
How many cards are given & received each year with simply a signature on preprinted sentiments? Something seems missing.
How many relationships grow more & more distant over the years & then the cards stop coming altogether? Something must be missing.
How many times do we do out of obligation? Something is definitely missing.
Let me summarize my year for you with this; God is God and He is good, no matter what. In this I’m learning to find rest. Not doing out of obligations, but doing out of awe, love & as a response to His amazing grace.
His grace & His words are ever present & ever available. They never come late either.
With Him, nothing is missing.
I still love Christmas cards & I love connecting with others through written words mailed from one place to another.
I love even more the fullness that comes through this finding rest in Him. I’d like to say that we remembered Christ this Christmas by reading about His birth on Christmas Day, or that we made a birthday cake for baby Jesus. But we didn’t.
What I can say is that I am thankful to be relieved of the burden to do so out of obligation. When I start to wish we’d remembered Him more through our actions, I am reminded that I haven’t forgotten because one day didn’t include one action. My heart remains in awe & wonder more than ever. My need remains more apparent than ever.
Those Christmas Cards we haven’t been sending out? We haven’t forgotten our family & friends. We still love them & we will still do what we can to remain connected to many whom we have been blessed to share life with.
We don’t need to fill our days with all the things. What we really need is Him. Sometimes that looks busy, and sometimes not.
Some days we remember to show our hearts focused on Him in our deeds, some days we forget He is even speaking to us.
In all the days, He has not forgotten. His presence remains & His Spirit speaks to my heart. “Stay near. I am here.”
As I’m still recovering from extreme stress & trauma I find it hard to stay busy for long. So I don’t. I’ll do what I need to do, but beyond that, I just can’t & won’t anymore. It’s hard to admit it but I’ve reached a point where I simply can’t do certain things without reaping significant effects personally & inter-relationally.
And then Christmas is here & the American way is busy, busy, busy.
And then Christ is here and His way is intentionally restful in everything we do & don’t do.
He is mighty. He is glorious. With Him nothing compares.
In Him nothing is ever missing.
with love, Jolene
Jolene – thank you so much for sharing your post today…what my heart needs IS God and I am planning a new year, a new start with HIM each morning to begin my day; and each evening to end my day…every year I say this; every year I fail…but this year – I KNOW I NEED HIM MORE THAN EVER and I WILL get through this year WITH HIM! I love the “in Him nothing is missing”! And I love love love the pictures!!! Family pictures are awesome – and sometimes POSED and PRETTY (sometimes!); but I love the ones where we have silly grins or looks or poses…that is who we are!!
May 2015 bring you joys and blessings uncountable!
So good Barbara. Rejoicing & seeking Him with you. 🙂
I haven’t mailed a Christmas card in years. I use to feel bad and guilty when I received them from others, but it’s very freeing to know I am not moving out of obligation. There are some other things I am struggling with doing out of sense of obligation and am asking God to help release me from them. Happy New Year!
There always seems to be something we hold onto. I’m with you there Barbie. Here’s to a new year with more letting go.
Good post.
Certainly something is always missing, but it won’t and can’t be completed or brought to fulfillment until I’m ‘there’, in the place after this life.
I can relax into God’s embrace, so to speak, but then He reminds me that there are children of His that need me to fight for them, and that I can’t save them all.
I have to face the dichotomy, of being in His service unto death, but never able to stand down. If I feel I have everything because I have Him in the temporal, it requires me to gloss over the barbs that tear at my heart when I see faith betrayed, and innocence murdered (And I am speaking quite literally).
So there will always be a hole, and I can’t fill it. But it’ll drive me on to carry on, trying to be one of His hands or feet, or maybe even just part of a toenail.
Something!
True words Andrew. So glad you came by & shared.
You are so right Jolene about not feeling like we need to do all things and be all things all the time. We do need to rest in the Lord, and when we do this and fully trust Him, we will not feel guilty and we’ll be ready to receive His blessings. We allow ourselves to live for Him more fully and that’s what He desires of us. Have a blessed New Year!
Amen to living more fully for Him Verona. Blessings on your weekend.
Hi Jolene, I’m visiting from the weekend brew. I’m SO RELIEVED I’m not the only one not sending Christmas cards! We live overseas, where it is hard to buy cards, mailing is expensive, and I don’t have time. (Or I choose to spend it on other things.) I don’t receive many cards for the same reason. I appreciate the cards I do receive, but I free myself from obligations to respond in kind.
When tradition becomes obligation, it dies! We light an advent wreath most nights in December, but we play it by ear. Some nights people are tired or need a break. We try to be flexible.
Amen Betsy! Thank you for stopping by & sharing your thoughts. It’s always a relief to let go & love in response. I pray this year brings more of that for all of us.
Jolene – this post was a big stress relief for many-the permission to let some of the busy go. I also haven’t sent Christmas cards or if I do very few. I have found that using my time to honor God, which for me was being part of my church’s Christmas show, is where my time is best used. I have my whole family coming in from out of town today and for once I am not totally stressed but looking forward to the time that we will spend together. You speak truth, girl, and for that I am so grateful. Thank you for linking to The Weekend Brew. Love you!
Thank you for sharing what your Christmas season looked like Mary. I love & appreciate you, friend!
Happy New Year, Jolene!
I like your sentiment of unburdening ourselves from tasks that weary, stress, and discourage us. For me, that means a much slower Christmas season and fewer presents, even though I still love doing a Christmas letter. I love the freedom of having them be January letters some years, or not doing them other years. Last year, I didn’t.
How fun to see your family smiling and goofing around in the photos here. Thanks for that glimpse into your life.
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com