I apologize for how my communication came across as insensitive to the depth of pain experienced by some.
While my anchoring thoughts and the overall message remain the same, there are different & additional messages I would offer.
As such, you can find a 2023 video on YouTube and embedded in an updated post. “What to Do When You Feel Like God Let You Down.”
I apologize for how my communication came across as insensitive to the depth of pain experienced by some.
While my anchoring thoughts and the overall message remain the same, there are different & additional messages I would offer.
As such, you can find a 2023 video on YouTube and embedded in an updated post. “What to Do When You Feel Like God Let You Down.”[/box]
We say funny things as believers. Well, funny as in a little weird. But not funny for the way they cause us to stumble in our Christian faith.
The saying below is one of them. It implies that God will not let me down. But He will and as hard as it is to believe, this is a good thing.
If you’re feeling this way, I know it can be so hard to look up. I’m sad for the pain you feel and I know it so well.
You may have tried to do all the right things for God, yet still He didn’t hold up His end of the bargain and give you what you desperately long for in return. It’s painful. Dear one, feel free to cry those tears. They might just be healing.
Please also consider this, we will setup ourselves up for further disappointment if we assume God meets our expectations, or that our intense desire for good to reign over bad means that others won’t make poor and harmful choices. That’s out of our control.
I’ve felt let down by God plenty of times. Like when I did all the things I knew to do as a believer and still ended up falling apart in depression, anxiety, or letting angry words and actions spew forth. Or when it seemed my marriage was gong to end despite all the things I thought I did right. Despite all the prayers I prayed. Or when God didn’t send what I needed the way I thought He should provide it.
If I believed God would never let me down, and then He did, I think I might give up on God. Plenty of people have.
When we expect God to do what we want, we will inevitably face disappointment. When we surrender to what God wants, we face a greater God.
God will let us down, but he will never fail us. There’s a difference.
One suggests God does what we want.
The other remembers God will be with us when we feel let down by Him not doing what we want.
This tweet was sent by someone with tens of thousands of followers. It made me stop short and sigh because I’m saddened by messages like this. When pop theology becomes feel good messages of the day, we lose out. We end up trusting ourselves more and God less.
That’s never a good thing.
Statements like this are heard by struggling believers who find it hard to trust God and want things their own way. This gives them one more reason to believe in a God who isn’t real. He will end up disappointing them, and they may walk away instead of finding the God who sustains them.
Even non-Christians see things like this and respond, “What in the world?” Sometimes they are quicker to notice when Christians turn to self over God because maybe they’ve seen this kind of hypocrisy before.
If we want to grow spiritually and emotionally mature as believers, we must start to recognize when subtle confections cover up solid food. Tricky words like this offer momentary sugary sweet highs which never sustain the energy needed for a solid Christian life of faith.
God WILL let you down.
God IS still GOOD.
How can these two co-exist?
Because God is God and we are not. God is not a powerful source who simply bends to our will. What we think is good, is not always of God.
What we want is often in direct conflict with what God wants for us. This conflict gives us an opportunity to surrender, confess sin, rely on God more, and be transformed. But if we expect God to do things our way, we will indeed be let down.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 ESV
We want things that are easy. We want comfort. We want delight in sensual things. We want to feel good – all the time.
Y’all, that’s not a realistic picture of living as a Christian, or even as a human. We don’t see things accurately as humans. We can’t choose rightly all the time because we live in a sinful world and our humanness is inclined to pursue fleshly desires over the Father’s heart.
We NEED someone who is unmarred by sin and wholly Holy. We NEED God. We need the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Simple phrases like this get eaten up like cotton candy. They dissolve into a sticky mess in our hearts.
Please, please, dear church of believers whom I love dearly, take a moment to consider this. It’s OK and good that God will let us down, because God wants better for us than we want for ourselves.
Please don’t think that just because your circumstances are hard, that God has left you. He hasn’t. We must remember that His ways are not understandable, but they are always better.
If you’re hurting right now, the enemy will do all he can to get you to believe God is not good based on how you feel or what your circumstances tell you. It is not true. His character DOES NOT change. This is something we can find hope in because He doesn’t change like we do.
- When I was date-raped and got pregnant, God let me down, but He did not fail to be present and loving.
- When I was a single mom with two kids from two different dads, God let me down, but He did not fail to be present and loving.
- When we moved to a ranch to obey God’s call and care for up to 12 children at a time and I ended up with signs of PTSD, depression, and anxiety requiring lots of therapy, God let me down, but He did not fail to be present and loving.
The good He wants doesn’t always look like the good we want. Thank God. What He has for us ends up being better than we could predict. It takes trust and willingness to surrender our ways for His to see this beauty.
When God let’s you down, remember He has not failed you.
He will never stop loving you.
Do not give up hope, friend. Step forward in faith, one step at a time until you see His goodness again. Choose God.
#riseupwarrior #courageoussoul
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There are so many idioms like that, that seem right at first glance, but, when you stop to think about it—not really so right. God’s not about our comfort, but about our holiness. So often the things that make us holy, aren’t things that are comfortable…but rather things that disappoint in the moment, aren’t they? Love this phrase of yours, “The good He wants doesn’t always look like the good we want. Thank God.” Amen. Thanks for sharing, Jolene. <3
Good stuff, Brenda. The things that make us holy aren’t comfortable. They aren’t always hard, but leaning into the hard with the help of the Holy Spirit is pretty powerful. Blessings!
Why did God let evil spirits harass my son and I I prayed for help and didn’t get any. I went to another church false pastor he had witches a worlock . The witches daughter said I would loose my son and I would be happy to be a testimony. I left that church another church took me in. I lost my son he’s in jail a kid he hung out with killed a kid he was with him when it happened. This is the werid thing it happen right by the new church I was going to. The other pastor used this event to liftbhis self up. I seems. I feel lije that was repurbushion for leaving that church after I had a dream after I picked up some ones black scarf the dream the devil gave me everything but on love,
Hi Jolene,
Thanks for the great post. I heard a Christian song recently with lyrics like “God will not let us down”. I ponder on it based on my life’s experiences a a Christian and thought it is not biblical but could not nail it. I did a search, read your post and whoa! Your post has articulated so well what it has in my heart! Thanks for the enlightenment.
It’s extremely difficult finding help that falls outside of the standard boundaries of Christian doctrine. I’ve been alone in my thinking bc Very few view life & God contrary to what we’re taught & what’s incorrectly circulated like that tweet. So Thank you for your boldness & insight to write this. It helps! And it’s very validating for me, to where I don’t feel so “wrong” for my alternative way of processing life & God, not anymore.
Kristina, thank you so much for your comment. I’m sorry it took me so long to reply. I appreciate you sharing what you did (and taking the time to do so) because I know that feeling of wanting help beyond the normal feel-good messages. I resonate deeply with what you said.
You did not respond to Kim though… How is that? Because her story is the exact opposite of what you said? How about toddlers dying of cancer? Is god not failing them? It is okay to die, we all will, but what is the need for this amount suffering for such innocent beings?
Hi, Agnes,
My apologies for the significant delay. I have not attended to this blog much in the last few years and missed your comment. I’m unable to find Kim’s comment that you referred to. Unfortunately, I’m not very consistent at my responses to comments here.
As I read your question, my heart aches for all who’ve lost young ones and for the suffering of young ones. Sadly, this is part of the fallen world we live in. God hasn’t promised us all lives free of suffering on earth. He does provide hope and help for when we suffer though. I know this answer feels awfully short in the face of tremendous pain. All I can offer is to recognize with you that some people face tremendous grief and suffering. May we be people who show up for those in pain and offer what we can.
It is very kind of you to offer hope to others that is outside of the normal encouragement. However, I have been unemployed for months now, facing possible eviction, repo of my car and just barely able to pay for food, electricity, etc. I have no support and I’m alone.
EVERY single job I’ve applied for (many) has not turned into a job offer. I have a bachelor’s degree and can’t find work to save my life. Everyone tells me that God will not let me down. But, let me down, He has. I have no where to turn and if this is God’s plan for me to become homeless, stay jobless and a failure, I can’t understand how that will bring me closer to Him. Instead, I feel more distant and alone. And when I am told to “surrender” to His will for me, I guess everyone means surrender to homelessness and joblessness, since that is all it seems His will is for me.
God does what He wants, when He wants and I don’t see how loving it is for Him to simply “be” with me and watch me go thru this peril and have NO interest in helping. I don’t know what He wants from me… But, I have no energy anymore. If homelessness is what He wants for me.. I guess He will get what He wants. He always does anyway.
I came to this page in the hopes of better understanding of why God would turn his back on me, but I just feel worse. Jesus said that our Heavenly Father knows what we need, so we are not to be anxious for anything. Right now, for me, this feels far from true. He has let me down and NO provision has been provided.
Anyway, thank you for allowing me to express myself. As I mention, I am alone in this and my struggle is real.
Hi Felicia,
My heart aches for your circumstances. You are facing a lot of challenges right now and that is very hard to deal with. Very. It’s understandable to feel a lot of things and to doubt God’s goodness in hardship like this.
I’m glad you found this post, but I am sorry it didn’t speak to you in ways that are helpful right now.
Felicia, I am praying for you and your situation this morning. Please know this is not an off the cuff answer without any action behind it. I am about to grab my morning coffee and sit in quiet to intercede for you.
Unfortunately, one blog post (even several) can never fully convey the heart of a concept or teaching. However, because God IS with you and the Holy Spirit IS with all believers, and He is far better at speaking to our hearts than I could ever be, I pray for God’s love to be felt in powerful ways. If I were there in person, I’d sit with you and listen to more. I pray you are able to do that with safe people in your circles.
You are welcome to email me at jo at joleneunderwood .com as well. I can’t promise anything, but I will listen and pray. Also, I have some thoughts about a few things you mentioned that could help, but I don’t want to just mention them here because that could be unhelpful. If you’re interested in conversing further, I am extending an invitation to reach out.
You are being prayed for this morning.
Hello Jolene,
Please pray for me too. I have not worked since covid and I need answers from God.
Would you please pray for me as well? I am alone since i knew my self. I have tried a lot to have some one on my circle to feel that i’m wiz them nd they are with me even single person but no no no one. Pls pls pray for me so that the chain of lonenss dismantle apart. I could not!!!. i don’t understand the way how i can get God help to get ride of it.
Hi Teferi,
I’m so sorry for my significant delay in responding to this message.
Lord, thank you for letting me see Teferi’s comment today. May they know your love and comfort with them in a supernatural way. May they find community and connection with others in real life too. Where there are obstacles, give Teferi courage and wisdom to work through them and find places where she can feel less lonely. I know you love Teferi and I pray your love would be experienced in real life ways. Amen.
Teferi, I don’t know if you saw that I launched a membership group this year called Cultivate Together. It’s a growth community, which includes training and tools for personal development as well as ways to connect with others who are growing as well. If you’re interested, you can join us here. We’d love to welcome you into our space.
Hi Felicia. I am with you on this. I have been seeking God to help me with a particular request. I am too tired to write down in details. It’s similar to your situation where you are trying to do good for yourself. Dreams have been shattered and they are good dreams. I gave up every known sins, listened to Christian songs only, and did whatever within my means to please God. When the request failed, I picked up myself again and tried harder to please God. It failed again. I tried to hold every God promises contained in the Bible. It only gave me a false sense of security which resulted in failure once more. I wanted God to intervene but obviously He wasn’t going to. Now I am going to be realistic in my approach. Felicia, you need others to help you with interview coaching! Otherwise you are stuck. I hope you know what you really want, recognise your abilities and don’t give up and keep going. Unfortunately the world is utterly imbalance. For now, concentrate on believing yourself, keep on going. You will get there. God will help you in other ways. I pray we both will get somewhere soon.
Ed, I am sad to hear of the number of challenges you’ve faced. I don’t know what they are, but I do know what it’s like to face one thing after another, and to feel like you’re doing all the right things.
This post comes from a place of seeing things differently. God lets us down when we expect God to act in ways we determine. He hasn’t failed, but we will continue to experience greater harm by picking ourselves up, or trying to please Him and expecting Him to respond based on what we do.
The good news is that we don’t have to make God like us. When we fall, make mistakes, sin, and cause harm, God still loves. He is also always drawing us to Him. He wants us to experience Him more fully and we never will when we keep tyring to do it on our own. The more we try to get it right, the more bondage we may experience. Choosing to just believe in ourselves is a worldly thought that can only drag us further down.
In the garden, the enemy came to Adam and Eve and deceived them by getting them to look to themselves. To choose the knowledge of good and evil over the source of life. They had life with Jesus, but choose themselves and suffered ever since.
We still try to do things on our own and reap the repercussions because we can’t experience the peace, joy, and love of God without being connected to Him.
I agree in looking realistically at life. This includes facts about circumstances and truth sourced by God. What is in our power to change (how we respond, the choices we make, our attitudes, behavior, our choice to move towards God or away from Him, etc), and what choices are out of my control. What patterns indicate things may not change. With that in mind, what choices can be made?
We can only know truth, the kind of truth that sets us free, by knowing Him intimately. Knowing about Him and trying to do for Him is way different than knowing Him and living because of Him.
Again, I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve endured. I imagine it’s challenging to know what way is up some times. God IS more than we understand. He works in ways that don’t always make sense. He might let us down, but it’s not because He doesn’t care. it’s because He sees more than we do and we put expectations on Him that don’t belong there. Sometimes, bad things happen simply because we’re in a fallen world and other people have choices too. We can’t pin man’s choices on God. IF we do, we’re resigned to live a life absent of faith.
I know this burden of trying to please God all too well. It’s exhausting when Christian living is about “getting it right”. Jesus came to save sinners in need of Him. Not people who perfected their own faith. It’s taken me decades to experience release from this and to experience God’s power in the darkest moments and excruciatingly painful situations.
I stand with you in prayer, Ed. God has not abandoned you. He wants your heart, not the striving for perfection. He’s already perfect for you.
Wishing you the best.
Jolene, my English writing skill is poor and find it difficult to express my thoughts across. You said God lets us down when we act in ways we determine. Not when we go to church or listen or read Christian materials, we are constantly bombarded with love messages and encouraging materials especially when you have a pressing need. I have been a Christian for a long time and God has broken me down in the past year, yet I still make the same mistake. I still have not this drill into my head; everything is about God’s will and it’s up to Him. It’s about worshipping, praising and thanking Him and placing Him first before self.
I don’t wish to state my problem on the web. Imagine this, you have a plate of seeds and you wish to plant them into the soil. You lift up the plate and cry to the Lord to bless you. As you are about to plant the seeds, crow flies down and takes away your seeds. You have to start all over again and gather seeds. You understand the importance of tithing and you give some of your seeds away. The rest you pray for blessings. You lift up the plate and you pray please God, no more crow. Again big fat crow happily appears and takes them off from you. Seeds are for your plants to trees to fruits. You pray for God’s intervene. You wish and hope. Nothing but despair.
You are right to say we are in a fallen world and other people have choices too (something I learned a week ago). I can pray to God no more crow in sight. As a sovereign God, He can do that but He isn’t.
I do devotional studies and prayers. Every devotional studies point to encouragement and hope. I follow a very devout American southern baptist pastor who is very devoted to God and the bible. His teachings are sound and in line with God. We ought to live a godly life because God hates sins. Same goes with requesting God for blessings. One of his books the pastor said a Christian was leaded by the Holy Spirit and He wouldn’t budge on negotiation and won. I wish the pastor didn’t state this real example because it won’t apply to anyone. Call me naive. When you were trying to claim God’s promises and blessings, you were in the act of hoping. I also carefully select sound teachings and they all point in the same direction.
I was impressed by many lessons in the bible like David & Goliath. Bible verses like John 10:27, Proverbs 3:5-7, Psalms 32:8, Jeremiah 29:12-13, Luke 11:9,13, Romans 12:2, Romans 10:17. These scriptures lifted me up and at the same time they gave me a false sense of security.
I do not want to be a stumbling block to any Christian. If anybody comes to me I would encourage them in a godly way despite I am having trouble myself. I try to sought help from the ministry I am following, I won’t be able to reach them. That’s disappointing. I am very much on my own. A retired minister who knows my problem isn’t impressed and is not keen to hearing me anymore. All he could say is be patient and wait upon the Lord. He is probably right.
When the first failure happened, I treated it as God has broken me for a reason. A reason to be humble and come to Him. Instead of runnng away, I come to Him. I did learn many valuable lessons. At the same time, I fell into the same trap, a false sense of security based on bible promises and encouraging teachings. I spoke to a pastor and commented I don’t hear brimstones sermons. He replied sermons need to reach a wider audience especially reaching out for salvation. You now know where I am coming from.
I feel I am the evil one depicting God as a harsh master. Is he? If He isn’t going to give it to you, He won’t. There were examples in the Old Testament, God gave in to pleas. So I pleaded. Nothing. If it’s His will, He will. It’s all about Him not me I was told.
After a series of failures and looking at the world in the wrong len, I now learn through loss of opportunities. If I were a non Christian, I would probably not make the mistake I did. I would be realistic in my approach in a realistic circumstance. I would not hold the plate of seeds up in the air and pray before planting thereby allowing the crow the opportunity. I am not saying here one should not pray, no no. I would be a devil if I did. I am trying to say my understanding of worship and request have been distorted.
The greedy crow who has enough of the world will come and snatch away your only plate of God pleaded seeds. I can now better understand people who is struggling and going through poverty and hardship in life.
I think the problem with me is I am not willing to wait upon the Lord. I have been warned but I chose not to heed. This is true and I am now paying for the price! First phrase, didn’t know any better hence mistake made. Second phrase learned and still made mistake as explained about promises (obviously not applied to me). The third phrase is I have no choice but to wait on the Lord.
Through this hardship, I question why God allow pain and suffering (Psalm has full of crying out to God. In the midst of our sufferings, God expects us to give Him thanks and praise). The original is sin. Sometimes we suffer because of other people sins. Would God relieve those sufferings? I don’t know. What I do know is we must have compassion for suffering people. If we have food, we must share with those who don’t. If we have money, we must help. I am saddened by people with the means and not helping. Scriptures have lots to say about that, 2 Timothy 3:1-5.
Psalm 77 is my story. I mustn’t forget to worship, praise and thank Him. May we produce fruits in our lives no matter what. Fruits of last ve, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.
Typo error due to auto fill…fruits of love (not last ve)……
Dear Jolene,
Please allow me to weigh in on this discussion too. I was searching on Google “Why God always lets me down…” cos that how I feel now, and that when I found your blog.
Jesus promised that “whatever we asked in His name, He will do for us.” Did he not promised? But I have asked, prayed and begged..but no…I get no answer..so solution to my financial struggles. No end in sight.
So I get angry at God…and this battle rages on within me…my Faith vs Disappointments.
BUT…when I have calmed down, a small voice seems to speak to me. “Trust God still”. He is blessing you in other ways NOW.”
Then I get a call that tells me an old friend’s 8 year old daughter has just died of a sudden fever.
Suddenly, my perspective changed. I THANKED God that he has been keeping my family from harm and evil. My anger disappears.
I still pray to be delivered from my financial hardship. But I recognize that he is caring for me in other ways. Why doesn’t God do BOTH?
I really don’t know. I wish He would. So I would have more reasons to glorify Him.
Jolene,… I am coming across very confused and convoluted aren’t I? Well…that is exactly how I feel right now.
I pray that He is big enough to take my nonsense and still be a kind God to me though.
Michael
I understand exactly what you’re going through. I’ll be homeless in about a month. I had a great job offer vaporize in seconds after faithfully following God’s call to wait on the position for 4 months! My husband is critically ill, we have no benefits, no money, and now no job i feel like a fool. God does bless and care for people. He just doesn’t have the time or desire to care for me. Misery doesn’t draw people to Christ…
This is Donald I have been recently found out that it was a stereo with that my mom had bought me this is my cell materialistic to some people but to me it makes me feel happy because it was something I cherish from my mom since she is going through a rough time right now with dementia end it upsets me that the stereo I wanted sex all it was a record player is it needs a motor that my mom bought me and I feel God let me down and he failed me because he didn’t answer my prayers and I pray that it could be fixed because it meant so much to me and then I found out today that can’t be fixed why did God let me down why didn’t he let something good come of it give me good news that it could be fixed. Why did God break my heart and let me down he failed me and I don’t know why???I don’t understand why God let me down and did not answer my prayers it makes me sad I wish I could understand but I don’t Donald Athens Georgia.
Michael, I can totally understand what you are going through. I believe without a doubt that God has taken care of you in other ways. Amen.
My experience in the past year has taught me a great deal and at the same time I am questioning with our petitions will God intervene in our affairs. The debate on why a good God allow suffering is what the atheist argues about the existence of God. It is also the devil lies whispering into our ears. John Piper of desiring God, preached about this topic and you can hear him on YouTube. I emailed the organisation requesting to be connected to him but it’s ashamed I don’t even get a respond from anyone.
My understanding now is there’re two layers God deals with us. One is God is sovereign. He can do absolutely anything. The other is what we are going through on a daily basis. Famous influential pastors especially in the USA tend to focus predominantly on God’s sovereignty; God’s grace and love for us.
My good friend had influenced me by sending me grace messages. We were backsliders and we returned to God. I dedicated my first major decision to God, fasted, prayed and “held the prayed plate of seeds in the air” (please refer to my early post). The crows circulating in the sky took away all the seeds. My friend believes in God’s sovereignty in that “He can disperse the crows from my plate”. I am speaking metaphorically. Did God disperse the crows? No, He didn’t.
I tried to hear God but He remains silent throughout the difficult moments even now. A christian couple spoke about vision from God and how God helped them with their dream home. I became encouraged again and felt we christian are “entitled” especially when we are drawing closer to Him. It gave me a false sense of security and once again God didn’t disperse the crows and my plate of seeds was once again lost out to the world. I was really dumb.
My friend believes that God can make spiders disappear from my house. After all, isn’t He sovereign? To doubt Him is faithless. Didn’t Jesus say, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move.” Matthew 17:20
You often heard pastors spoke about God’s blessings. For example, a church was shortfall of funds for a new building. Someone anonymously donated. Isn’t this God’s intervene? If it only happens to me. The way I see is organisation has the ability to attract help. An example newspaper reported about a family’s plight. Soon, donations started to pour in. If this family was left alone on their devices, it would be a different perspective. Likewise we can easily sympathise with an innocent child illness than a drug addict pleading for a new chance in life.
It is through suffering that we are forced to recognise the plights of others. If I have severe financial hardship, I will appreciate McDonald’s kids meal. God deals with christians differently. He may cause more hardships to God-loving christians. It doesn’t mean in the end these christians will end up with greater blessings in the way they wanted. There’s no karma. For example, one average income christian who has a heart of gold and he feels the pain of the poor and feeds them. Another who is wealthy but won’t give to the poor. That rich person will be richer. God will not intervene and disperse the crows so the person can plant the seeds and grow fruits.
Hence it is very important christians to share their love with others. I am a hypocrite to say this but I must remind myself. If one has the money one must share. If one has the talent one must share. It is also very important we respect our parents whatever we may disagree. It is also very important to thank God and praise Him (I struggle with this myself). I have a lot of questions why God? The book of Job brings tears and I couldn’t comprehend the incredible sufferings. Book of Psalms another. People during the Old Testament times weren’t having any easier than now.
(It is my desire to be able to make direct contact to a knowledgeable God fearing pastor. I have so many questions)
I have been through hell God failing me four significant times God is just fooling me saying he is God I don’t know what to think anymore
I am so sorry to hear of the pain you’ve been through Emmanuel. It’s hard to remember that God is for you when hard things happen. Many people in scripture wondered where God went when they went through trials as well. I’ve also cried out in pain. Lots of pain, many times. You know what though? In those moments, I also felt my need for God so much more than I usually do. We can’t do this life on our own, well we can try, but without Him, it’s so much emptier. David (in the Bible) cried out to God a lot, so did Job. They couldn’t see where God was or what His ultimate plan was. One of my favorite Psalms is Psalms 42. In it, David cries out his hurt honestly. At the end, he chooses to hope in God. He did this often, but this particular Psalm stands out to me.
I wonder if any of the Psalms speak to you, Emmanuel? I’d love to hear. I’m praying for you today. Again, I’m so sorry for the painful trials. I pray you sense God’s presence and receive His love in new ways. I pray you have others around you to care and to be present in your life. I pray that your soul in encouraged to not let the enemy win by telling you lies.
Forgive me, but I have to say that I do believe you miss out on a critical component: God’s damnable silence.
Case in point: I graduated from university. By all accounts, I tried my best to be a good Christian. Yet the past couple of years have been categorised by nothing but more disappointment and let downs.
I’ve searched for God’s advice in the Bible, but all I can find are meaningless Psalms that speak in the abstract. Even Jesus didn’t have to go through the soul-crushing process of the job hunt.
I’ve searched for God’s advice in my family, but at best I’ve gotten are impersonations of Jobs’ friends.
In the end, all I got was a position in a region I never wanted to go back to. A position that makes a mockery of everything I’ve done and strived for.
So tell me – where is God in all of this? Where was God’s support? I never got that oh so mystical sense of God’s support that I’ve seen so many Christians espouse. The only support I got was from my stubbornness and myself.
2016, 2017 and 2018 were I truly feel God dropped the ball. Or worst played a joke on me, with a horrible punchline.
hi tj,
you should have already known that God would always let you (and us) down! I am not surprised with what you have gone through.
Well, let’s now analyze the facts as follows:
First of all, why are you all talking of Christian faith or whatsoever? Do you think that members of all other biblical religions (Judaism and Islam) do not have any faith or do not love God as much as you do? It’s the same God, same angels, same moral values, same characters, same restrictions, same allowances, same sins, same rewards, same promises, same concepts about hell and paradise, and almost more or less same verses and same books. So, it is all our God! Many of you do not know the facts and truth and are indoctrinated by systematic propaganda who wants all believers of biblical religions to be apart.
Now, let’s start first with the definition of God. Who is God? Can we formulate the definition as follows:
1) God is unique and one.
2) God doesn’t look like any other creature and no other creature ever looks like Him.
3) God’s existence is on His own, He was not born from any parents, and has not given birth to any children.
4) God doesn’t need any other creature for His own existence, but all other creatures need Him for their existence.
5) God’s existence has no beginning and also no end, He always existed and exists.
6) He is omnipotent and omniscient.
But when we make an analysis about the real world, then we clearly see that either God cannot exist, or if He exists, he cannot be omnipotent, or if He exists and is omnipotent, He cannot be a good God! There is simply no other explanation for an existence that never shows mercy, that never listens to sufferers, that always lets us all down, and that can never give hope and solace ever to anybody.
And now, let us analyze the chapter “Job’s Trial” from the Old Testament:
I assume that everybody knows that long story well, and the ones who don’t know can well read it from the Old Testament. I am not going to repeat it here, but now let us ask the following questions with respect to Job’s story:
1) God always warns us (i.e. humans that He created with all their weaknesses) not to fall into the trap of the devil. But, yet He Himself immediately falls into the trap of the devil jumping into his provocation for a bet concerning the suffering of Job.
2) Is God not omnipotent and omniscient?? Was He not able to know whether Job was sincere in his belief or not, and did He necessarily need to enter a bet with devil based on suffering of Job? He should have known it even when He created Job what kind of a virtous man he would be!
3) God says that a life is very holy, yet allows devil to kill 10 children just fort hat pesky bet! What a mismatch with His apparent values? Those 10 children are gone! They are not replaced. Did He bring them into life knowing the fact that their only role would be to be used one day as an instrument of suffering for His pesky bet with devil?
4) At the end, what for was the bet?? If you had been omnipotent, you should have known everything without needing to enter a bet with devil! And furthermore, what’s the point of the bet? Are we already not going to receive the punishments and rewards on the day of judgement?? If Job was not sincere and honest in his belief, why did you not wait until that day to punish him?? Moreover, whom are you proving what exactly? Did you just want to satisfy your ego to see that you are loved or what?? Neither did you receive a gold medal for winning the bet, nor would have anybody discredited you when you had lost the bet!
5) When Job wants an answer, the only answer He can give is “Where were you while I was creating the universe?”. This is not an answer but nothing else than a megalomania and ridicule. You always want to be loved and praised and admired, but who cares how many universes you created, as long as you are not even able to show mercy to tears of a small child or sufferers!!!!
This is Him!!! Nothing else than a schizoid existence that has no words like mercy, grace, love, forgiveness in His dictionary. He separates children from parents, parents from children. He is extremely jealous. If you ever love somebody, He immediately takes him/her away from you. If you are a very virtuos, good, honest, helpful, merciful person, He would always put heavy stones on your way, He would always close all doors for you, He would always let you down and He would always suffocate you squeezing your throat. But, on the other hand, if you are so wicked, bad, liar, then He would not even know how much He can lick your ass!! That’s Him!!!!
How pity for us that we are a toy of this schizoid merciless bastard! And He – being so omniscient (!) – can stil not be aware that this is not the way to acquire respect and belief of humans. Nobody would give a shit to what you promise in verses, but everybody would want to see actions in real life!!!
Fifteen years ago I would have thought that last comment was “twisted “ and so wrong, but after what I’ve been through since then, I couldn’t agree with you more!
Hi there, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I know God does. I’m sorry whatever it is has been painful for you. I am praying for you today.
I have been been a Christian over 30 years and never had been a serious one until three years ago; following an incident, I started to coming to Him. Prior to this, my belief is God will bless you if you are faithful to Him. I tried to keep myself pure. Abstain from sex, listening to soul calming Christian songs and hymns, regular church goer, putting aside 10% of pay, devotional studies. Seeking God in every direction. I am more miserable than before. I don’t experience love, joy, peace and happiness. I entrusted on God. He disappointed me time after time. He let me down, repeatedly. He is nowhere to be found. Silent.
I kept going on. I am a hypocrite, hiding my inner feeling about God. I didn’t want to be a stumbling block to other Christians. I confided my difficulties with a close Christian friend only to be rebuked. This friend is very fervent in her worship. She said I am treating God as a dispensable machine. I will always support and love my friend but she doesn’t show humanity. Now we are no longer talking.
I am trodding a very hard life since the last three years. It is too tiring to tell everything here, lots of explanation and details. In short, I have thorns all over and groaning in pain.
I spoke to other Christians but found no comfort. They say God is love and He is a friend. My experience with God is if you don’t do what I say, you will be cast into sin bin. You have to bear the consequences. Obviously if there’s always consequences in every thing. This is not the point. The point is He is a strict Master.
I can now understand the Israelites in the desert, complaining about the manna and long the slave Egyptian days. We couldn’t see the light in the tunnel. Waiting upon the Lord is the hardest part. I go crazy reading the bible and devotional studies not being able to discern what God is telling me.
I am struggling between making decision based on reality and proven records vs relying on God. The moment I didn’t pray for simple guidance, the blessings were taken away and consequences were so apparent to see. I am struggling in spiritual warfares. Satan constantly hassles me and I felt I grieved the Holy Spirit. End result is I am defeated due to my human nature tendency.
I don’t see the grace in New Testament. I only experience Old Testament. Lamentations. Follow my commands or else. The thing is I can’t discern God’s will. I feel God wanted me to wait. It’s the hardest part because I saw countless opportunities slipping one by one.
I want to do the best for myself and for my family. God has other ideas. God is not interested in prospering you. This I know for sure. If you have two boxes to choose from. You prayed. He will not lead you to the 100K box so you can set aside 50K for medical bills. He wants you to see contentment in 1K box and God knows what you and your family would do with 50K medical bills.
I came to a stage where I question my Christian faith. Is there really a God, the one true God we always been told? In my opinion I find God is not constant in the bible. Whenever I am disappointed by God, I turned to Christian books. It doesn’t address anything because these authors always point to God’s love. I don’t see God’s love except if you don’t follow my commands, you will be in the sin bin and bear the consequences. Isn’t this the eventual truth? Every action has it’s own consequences.
Though I started to question God existence, I know for sure Satan is very real. I have been constantly harassed by the devil. It’s 100% accuracy, no good thing comes out from the devil. If there’s no God, Satan will be dominate and there’s only darkness. But how, there’s still goodness on earth. Rules to keep us safe. There must be an existence of God to keep the Satan at bay!
So my faith comes back. God is about contentment. God is about humanity. God is about love and peace. God is about you keeping your lives holy. Eventually I came to this conclusion. That the hardest part of being a Christian is simply about patient, faith and trust. Basically is like the Israelites going into the promised land.
On this pathway, I don’t know how to walk. There are major decisions in life where I have to make a choice and not found in the bible. I always turn to God in prayers for guidance and wisdom. I found no answer but pure silence. More often than not, I made mistakes and suffered years of consequences. Where is God in all these? It seems God isn’t interested. We are told our life here is in transit. Put God first. Then what? Live in the same old house. Do the same old job. Life is not about you, you know. Pray to God and give thanks and praise. In other words, if you want a better paying decent job, God isn’t interested. Why would He? If you don’t get the job in an interview, Christian are quick to say it is not God’s will. Is it? The other candidate who got the job matches more closely to the job description.
I can only groan in this life. I ask God to hasten but all I found is God is silent. I gave up on fairness and unfairness. I can come to terms with a preacher who is disappointed with the church and places emphasis on humanity. My loving non Christian mother noticed I have been trodding hardships in the past three years and still ongoing. I don’t know what to do. Nobody to turn to. No Christian can understand. All these God fearing prominent preachers or authors won’t allow you to contact them. I don’t know what to do. I just started reading Philip Yanchey book. I have not finished so don’t know. If Dr Charles Stanley or Timothy Keller or Philip Yancey read my predicament, would you please get in touch with me? I lose the energy. I don’t find the strength to go exercising or walking without thinking my hardships. I am sadder than before.
Once upon a time, I was at a flea market, where a seller was offering a really very elegant and beautiful item, which a lot of visitors wanted to buy. Every time a visitor came to his stand and asked for the price of that item, the seller answered the same “All what you have!”, hence nobody could get it leaving the stand with sad and desperate eyes. Then, some time later, a little girl came there, who also wanted to purchase the item. The seller again said “All what you have!”. Then, the girl took out her wallet and showed its content to the seller, there were only a few cents. And she said to him: “This is all I have”. And the seller gave her the item just for a few cents.
This is exactly the case of God with the sufferers. All He can ever ask and all He can ever expect to get from virtuous suffering people can only be anger, disappointment, aggression, resentment, resignation, hate, despair and disrespect. He has no right to ask for something more!!! And He has absolutely no right ever to make a reproach to all these people, whom He has taken everything and whom He has only left the above things. These are what He gave them at maximum and these will be what He will get.
Hey God! Why do you always favor the wicked ones? Why do you always lick their asses and raise them higher and higher? Do you think that this is the way to obtain respect from virtuous people? What do you gain with that? You could have well created a universe only with all your wicked ones and enjoyed all the game among yourselves! Is it because their asses taste so delicious or so? Is that the reason of great support you provide them? They are given all pleasures of life, they are taken away all problems, worries, burdens, etc. They are given everything one after the other like a rain of happiness.
And what shall the virtuous ones do here? Ohhh, I see, they are just created to suffer as part of that fucking game. How nice is that, isn’t it?
Ohhh, I see, just because the heavy sufferers can’t tolerate it anymore and criticize you without ever harming any single creature or engaging in any great sin, they will go to your so famous hell just because it damages your pride, and all the wicked ones, all liars, all child rapers, all sinners, all corrupted ones, all thieves, who thanks to Your existence do not need any toilet paper, will immediately be forgiven and take their seats in your paradise, where apparently you can promise nothing else than sex orgies in continuous rhythm.
Ohhh, I see, so it is just the devil that makes all that and etc. What a devil is that? He always wins against You, and You always lose! You failed in everything! The devil is nothing else than You again in your schizoid personality!
But whom am I talking? Why do I waste my time? For a moment, sit down and leave us alone!
Hey God, and now trying to preserve all my politeness, I dare to ask you a question which was never asked: “Do you ever have MERCY? Does your existence ever knows what MERCY is??”
I have felt anger and hatred for God after my 30 years on earth sometimes I want to die mind you I have served God in missions as an evangelist I h inave prayed for demon possessed I have laid my hands on the sick and all were healed but now due to so much anguish and pain of past abuse am depressed and envious of all the people around me who God is blessing with wealth family friends children and riches when my financial situation doesn’t change I feel like I laboured in vain like it was all for nothing like God just checked out of my life like he is now a distant father who asks you what’s up when he is impatiently checking his phone and before you utter a word he goes ummm hold that thought and walks out I used to pray read the Bible and what not now I use escapism as the safest method to not offend God too much and also to not completely loose my mind
Currently I am going through a difficult time and has been ongoing for 3 years. There are some many things to say and some of them have been expressed above. I started to be a better christian since 2016 and gave up worldly things and indulgence. I didn’t expect life would be harder than before. I expected greater blessings and all my thinkings and feelings about everything surrounding Christian things begin to fall apart one by one. Where is God in all these? A loving parent would be joyful and will give the support and encouragement they need and assist whatever ways they can. But not God. On the contrary, God doesn’t remove my thorns. So much so I began to doubt the existence of God and Son of God on earth Jesus Christ for us. It is like a cruel joke.
During the 3 years I had been encouraged by a close christian friend. She bombarded me with love messages you can find everywhere on the internet. God is love. God is good. Turn left or right, sermons and books everywhere, nothing but God is good. It influenced and brain washed me that as a born again Christian, I am privileged to have the Holy Spirit in me. You can claim on God blessings. Why not, my friend said? Turn to the bible, there are many scriptures of encouragement and blessings.
Furthermore, I fasted and prayed fervently and tried even harder to sin lesser. I needed God to help me to make major life decisions and blessings. Along the way, God did not remove bad advises from christians whom I trusted more than anyone else firmly believing God communicated to them since they have His Holy Spirit. I lost opportunity one after another non-stop and can never achieve success . I lost significant investment opportunity. I lost every single dream. When I did achieve the only success, it was mysteriously taken away from me.
I made one very significant mistake. God did try to warn me through my mother. I did not heed. I am currently paying the price of my mistake and sins. It is very painful and torturing on a daily basis. God doesn’t provide me a relief and alternative.
I have all the doubts and I can relate to you Franz what you had written. I see right in my eyes non Christian, worldly indulgent and no love of God people took away my every single opportunity. See my previous posts.
To make you understand easier, imagine you are walking this path. At the end of this path is a cliff. Doing the walk, you prayed and seek Him and trusted Him. You asked for guidance and blessings. At the same time you tried to be good to God. God may have warned but is so so faint; easily missed. God knew all these. You tried to discern by reading the bible and prayers but nothing seem to come to light. Your mind played tricks on you. Then you fell off the cliff and God didn’t even catch you. You landed badly, you lost hope, lost blessings, and added to the insult, you are now treading on a path of thorns.
Many many years ago, I told myself I didn’t want to be a committed Christian. I saw the faithful and devoted christians are financially simple and I didn’t want to lead a restricted life. I wanted to indulge in worldly pleasures. It is like keeping God in one box and I in the other. If I did need Him, I went to visit Him and out again.
The close christian friend I talked about above, did in a big big way. She went all out rebelling against God and indulged like no tomorrow. She had the look, men and money. After 30 years, she returned to God. She now chooses to lead a simple lifestyle and God focussed.
We don’t understand God. We all wanted God to act a certain way for us. If God is good, why He allow sufferings? We all understand the original SIN. There are more questions and doubts.
Franz. I believe you come from western world. You have a strong sense of what’s rights and wrongs and very black and white. You see the world through this len. If you look deep inside your soul, you see the ugliness. You are a fallen being; we all are.
I came from a different religion and converted to Christianity as a born again Christian; believing in Jesus Christ on the cross and redemption of sins. It is not true every religion is the same. The bible is the most sounding scriptures than any other religious books. Many former criminals and people led dark lifestyles turned to Jesus Christ. There’s something about God that’s different. Through our experience, we can testify that.
There’s one topic preachers don’t usually talk about. Spiritual warfares. It is very real. Satan is constantly at work. Whispering into our ears, enticing our sights and smell. Satan is pulling us away from God. Satan casts doubts on us. As you read above, I was doubting God; the One I had been worshiping and believing to be the only true God. One day me and one family member were on different flights to one holiday destination. We ended up completely lost and not knowing where each of us was. I prayed to God desperately and He descended into me and gave me a deep impression where other family member could be found. Satan quickly whispered into my ear that God could not be trusted because He never existed. At that moment, I decided to choose God and trusted in Him. True enough, I arrived at the place God impressed upon me and I was united with my family member. This miracle couldn’t happen if I didn’t believe and trust in God.
I have come to this stage of my walk and have gained substantial insights into God.
1) God is not to be tested. If you say show me then I believe. God will not. Read the bible about Jesus temptation by Satan. Matthew 4:7
2) God may give certain Christian individuals hardships – Trial. You can try and escape but you won’t.
3) The kingdom of God is not about you. Is about Him. Like it or not. That’s the way. Our good intended dreams and hopes can and will shatter. Example (it’s a bit exaggerating but you get the idea). God asks you what one thing you want from Him. You say I want $10 million so I can pay for my family hospital bill and use some of the money to help those who are in needs. No it doesn’t work in that way. You will continue struggling with life and having to work overtime to pay for health bill.
4) God wants a relationship from us. This is opposite to the concept of why sufferings and hardships?
5) You try to earn God brownie points by being good and doing extra Holy things, in the hope your petitions would be heard better. It doesn’t work that way. If you continue to choose knowingly sinning, you lost too. Yes God seems a dam***. You simply can’t win. God wants your holiness despite all.
6) God is a jealous God. Yes. No worshipping of idols. You strip yourself from God.
7) God is Holy and yet He accepts taxpayers, prostitutes, diseased and unclean, gays.
8) Galatian 5:22
9) Trust and Faith
10) Patience, cannot emphasise more
If you read my previous posts, you will see a significant shift in what I think about God. No longer I plead to a God to see it to my desires of heart. They are good dreams and hopes. They are all, one by one, shattered! I don’t like it but what can I do. I can struggle with God but I will be the one damaging myself. I have to strip myself off the desires of my heart and allowing God to decide for me. We only have a short journey here on earth and we want to live life to the fullest but that not God’s way. His way is His Will. Not ours.
Matthew 7:14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it
This is about salvation through Christ
We all want God to show us and prove to us. In the Old Testament, Exodus 13:21 And the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night. Franz, if we want God to lead us specifically and proving to us, we as human sinful nature, I doubt we will like it. Despite what God had done on the Red Sea and Jesus healings, humans are hardened and still worship idols and doubting Him. We prefer to choose our ways. If that’s the case we will have to bear our own consequences.
We all have good intentions. We want God blessings and prosperity. We want God to bless us so we can bless others. God is not a fool. How many times we say if God gives us this and that, we promise to return Him a favour? Franz. You know well, it will eventually wear you out.
God allows sufferings so we can understand other sufferings better. Is called humility. Is disheartening to learn some people suffer tremendous hardships and where is God in all these? It is often this topic that people walk away from God. We don’t have the answers and I am sure is the first question we will ask God when we see Him.
I am sorry Mary to learn about your walk. I can understand your pain. Mary please come back to God and ask Him for forgiveness and let the healing begins. Ask Him to give you the peace not of the world but from Him.
I noticed that my name was referred to several times in the text of “Ed”, hence I give this explanation:
First of all, I wrote here just comments about my perception about God based on my own experience in life including events involving many other people I know very well. As long as one can’t put on the shoes of somebody else and walk on his/her path, nobody can ever understand well the dimensions of suffering of that person. And nobody ever has a right to give or recommend a prescription about how one shall perceive God. We all walk on our own paths and we all will find our own answers that are nobody else’s business.
I never said that all religions are the same, but I said that all BIBLICAL religions are absolutely the same with this or that minor negligible difference. And this is a true fact like 2+2=4, all (today we just have three biblical religions left – Judaism, Christianity, Islam) having same unique God, same concepts, same rewards, more or less same verses, same viewpoints about sin, punishments, hell, paradise, same figures, same teachings, etc.
And when I look deep down inside my soul, I see absolutely no ugliness, but simply a level and quantity of mercy that is even more than the whole volume of the universe.
Thus, “Ed”, you shall look into your own path and walk on your own answers and truth rather than trying to give intelligent (!) prescriptions or kind of smart alec recommendations to others (like you did for “Mary”) of whom you can never have any single idea what their truth is! Nobody can know the absolute answers! All are just our own answers for us! Keep your eyes on your own way and lament for yourself!
So, I Googled “How to trust God again after He let you down.” And this post popped up. I appreciate your view on this, and the fact that you shared it even though you might get negative feedback from it. Here is what I have been struggling with; I know I’m finding this post late, but I’m going to share anyway.
My Mom, who had a close relationship with God, who was a fierce intercessor and had a passion for ministry to the homeless, was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer in October of 2017. We stood on the Word of God. She was surrounded by people who prayed with her, fasted on her behalf….and she was so strong. Last month, she started having severe pain. She couldn’t walk alone, could barely do anything. They admitted her into the hospital on February 4th. I’ll spare all of the details, because it was such a roller coaster ride. However, on February 14th, she was admitted to the ICU and on February 20th, she passed away.
People have said to me, she fulfilled her calling, etc. But, I know that isn’t true. She still had stuff left to do here. Of course she wanted to eventually get to Heaven, but she didn’t want to go so soon. She was only 57. She loved her kids and grandkids, and wanted to be part of our lives. She had a calling from God she still wanted to walk out. She was so faithful in her relationship with Jesus. She confessed the Word and stood on the promises that are supposed to come with being a child of God. “I will restore health to your body and heal your wounds.” Is one we so faithfully stood on. We claimed Psalm 91 over her, she claimed it for herself. We worshiped and praised God for victory. We didn’t allow ourselves to doubt, and spoke life over her.
I think that is what has been so devastating for me. I just trusted that God was going to heal her body, I just KNEW He was going to heal her….and He didn’t. I’ve been told she got her victory on the other side of Heaven. I question, why? Why couldn’t He have honored His Word (it isn’t supposed to return void) and touched her body here? We did what we knew to do, as children of God. I know her ministry wasn’t done. She was the most faithful, faith filled person I have ever known.
I am desperately seeking an answer. I feel that I have no one in my life to share this view with, because the response I will get is that we “just have to trust God.” I did that, and He didn’t come through. I am so confused. If you read this, I would so appreciate input. Thanks so much.
Dear April,
I do not know if you will ever get to read this nonetheless I will drop a few words here.
I just lost my Mum in February to circumstances very similar to yours and I feel exactly how you feel.
However, I have come to realize with the help of the Spirit that if I am not careful with my thoughts and feelings, the Devil will definitely take advantage of me and so whenever these feelings and thoughts begin to overwhelm me I remember and pray II Cor 10 : 4-5 and this has greatly helped me. Also, I remember Rmns 8 : 28 that all things worked together for my Mum and also for me and my family, even if it may not look like it.
Above all, this earth is just a temporary abode for us all and my Mum has just gone ahead to enjoy and rest and wait for me and my family.
Please take heart and I trust that God will continue to help you and yours. x
As I always say and defend, all so called holy books shall be rewritten reflecting the real face and existence of God. None of them are God’s word, anyway, all written by humans. But, verses or recommendations like “God has such a beautiful plan for you”, “God will care for you”, etc. and similar bullshit are no more calming down any spirit, nor can they provide any solace to any sufferer. Those just stay as pesky attempts to bring any resolution to any problem.
Humans must know well who God is and that He is nothing else than a sadistic schizoid existence! There is no loving, merciful God or whatsoever as we have been told so for ages!
He will always favor the wicked ones, He will always block the righteous and virtous ones.
He will always squeeze the throat of a sufferer, He will always push the righteous sufferer to the corner taking all hopes away one by one, He will always fart to our faces looking up to the sky with idiotic hopes and expectations.
Ok!! This is life and it is the golden rule of life that everything has an end!!! Ok, understood!!! But, why does the separation always have to be so brutal, so tragic, so early, so sadistic, so painful??? Hey God!! You expect from us, humans, with all our weakness and defects, to act like a God!!! To accept every burden with high robustness and silence!!! No, we can’t!!!! And why shall everything be cut after the separation and end??? Why is there not even a little piece of communication? As little as a mustard seed as YOU always like to talk in your pesky damned verses!!!!
Squeezing the throats continuously is no more an exam or whatsoever, but a torture!
So, we humans who have chosen to be righteous and virtous, have come to Earth just to suffer while watching the wicked ones to be raised high by YOU, and to blindly accept everything hoping to reach the never coming day of justice!! Is that what that game is all about???
And you, humans!! Break your chains of retrogradeness and erase Him from your minds!! Then, He will understand! A God, who can only keep believers due to fear of hell fire, has already failed and lost. A God without mercy and love has already failed and lost.
And God, what is Your gain in all that? What do You want to prove?? Yes, you are so powerful and can torture us!
I can totally understand where you are coming from April. We are often confused by the way of God through a mixture of bible scriptures understanding and the opinions of Christians whether authors, preachers or friends.
I have been broken repeatedly by God. You can read all my above posts. I pick myself up every single time; trying to do the right thing in pleasing God. I saw non Christian 3 groups of people under my nose were blessed and when the exact matter came to me, it never happened. For a record, I was the only one in history failing to achieve in that particular matter. It is like when it comes to my feeding hand, no fish will take it – first ever in record.
Throughout the recent years, I thought I have gained more knowledge in the way of God. I read christian books, studying daily devotional and prayer. Without fail, I attend Sunday services. Every time I fell, I reflected back and tried to please God even more. I fell to my knees, cried my eyes out and the whole cycle repeats itself. I doubted God then trusted Him back in again and out and in.
Christians don’t help either. I shared my problems only to be told if that’s what you think, my God isn’t like that. Not just one but another also reprimanded me the same. It sure hurts. I really don’t like to go through thorny pathway. But God isn’t elevating me yet. It confuses me even more. That is not a good thing because that causes me to doubt God and His existence. We look up to Christians especially those in leadership. If we place our trust on them, you will be greatly disappointed. That is not to say we don’t consult them. Ultimate you must come to God face to face and seek His help and guidance.
When I first came back from backsliding, I latched on every bible blessings and encouragement from a Christian friend. This caused me to toss about by sea wave. There are so many bible interpretations. You have Grace preaching church, Prosperity preaching church to name a few. The people we seek advises from will give you their different perspective based on their church beliefs. This is the tricky part for Christians who aren’t trained by God Himself. Majority of the churches do not preach true discipleship. Would you like to attend a church where the preaching is about abiding in God’s way? Or would you rather go to one who whispers sweet God promises hallelujah God is good? The answer is obvious. We find it easier to enjoy pleasure than abstaining. We find it easier to be bad than be good. I had been told one must believe in order to receive. Not to believe is an insult to God. Believe it and claim it. You name it, I had done it all.
I believe I have been trained by God. If you read my earlier post and later one bit by bit, you will see the difference. God has withdrawn blessings from me. I have yet to see the light. I am like Job at the moment. I am still like James 1:6 ….he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. So where are the bible scriptures promises? Especially in the face of adversity.
I have gone through life roller coaster and trying to figure it out God’s formula. Grace preachers will say it is done. Trust Him. Christian way isn’t that straight forward if only. That is why we all come here, trying to find answers to our tears and sorrow.
For example, Mark 12:42-44. It is about the poor widow who gave her little but her sincerity is what matters to God. It doesn’t matter how much you give but it is your sincerity that counts. Yet God expects your first fruit. You see the point. We simply can’t pick and choose bible verses that suit ourselves. When I was troubled, I leaned upon comfort verses. That can be a danger in a decision making process. I did and suffered as a result. I often get confused when I thought God was going to bless me something when I chanced upon those verses. I made a series of wrong decisions. God wants our relationship with Him whether He is going to bless us or not.
Jesus performed miracle and fed five thousands people with five barley loaves and two fish. People wanted to make Him King because of what He could do for them. John 6:14-15 ..when Jesus therefore perceived that they would come and take Him by force, to make Him a King, He departed again into a mountain Himself alone. Our love and relationship with God is not what He can do for us. God wants our relationship with Him regardless whether we get blessed, healed or not.
If you sieve through christians, you will discover only a few can be tested. I am having trouble with a christian friend whom I can’t have a decent conversation except the sovereignty of God. I am being portrayed as someone not fitting into a christian framework. That’s the danger of religion. My friend is all about the love of God and yet she dislikes her parents and left her only child to be raised up by her mother and sisters. I know this because I am close to her and know her background. Didn’t God command we honor our parents? If you met her, you wouldn’t know. She would be the ideal candidate to turn your life around for God. What if the chips fall apart?
True God loving christians serve others. Christians are supposed to exhibit 9 traits Galatians 5:22 Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control. It means you allow another slap on the other side. Example is you pity an old stubborn live-alone man but he doesn’t appreciate your kindness and treated you unfairly. Would you rather not have anything to do with Him? Or would you call him and enquire his needs during Coronavirus lock down? James 1:2-3 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
I am encountering endless hardships and I cry every day to God to relieve my pain. It is still ongoing, the thorns have not been removed. Without hardships, I won’t understand what others are going through. It is only through suffering that I can relate to other people pain. We petition to God to hear our prayers. There are times prayers are never answered. I know one sincere christian who gave up career for God into ministry. She is struck down with cancer. She does not blame God or ask why me. She accepted the outcome and her love shines through.
I mentioned about my hardships. People normally aren’t aware of the source. Apart from something you have no control over, individual hardship often stems from personal sins. This will raise a few objections. Every time time I made amendments to end this hardship, I discover layer and layer of sins through my devotional study and prayer. I wrestle with God but God told me not to have conflict with Him. I have seen blessings taken away from me mysteriously and nobody could explain. Time after time I question Him and is always in the back of my mind.
Being a christian isn’t easy and God expects your holiness regardlessly. Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
The world presented to us material dreams and endless desires. That’s the devil trap and lies. To learn more about the way of God, we need to look at the life of Jesus and His teachings and His ultimate sacrifice for mankind.
I pray God will end my hardships. I pray any one who comes here find You. I pray you give April and her family comfort and strength. I know you want relationship with us and it is us who are rejecting you. I pray we open our hearts to you. Have mercy on us. I thank you for Jesus and your love and faithfulness. In Jesus name. Amen.
Hello Good people, I’m from a family of faith in God. My brother is in a critical condition in the hospital, and he’s the most faithful believer then all of us at home. I don’t want to lose faith but the situation is getting on my brother everyday. I don’t know what to do now
Ntobeko, I am so sad to hear about your brother. Please forgive my horribly late reply. How is he today? I am closing the comments section here, but you are welcome to send me an email. jo @ joleneunderwood.com I am praying for both of you now.
Why does faith feel like a “fake it till you make it?” Honestly, I came across your post and I read it through tears (like ugly cry tears) and I got to the end and realized that I felt worse. If circumstances are not better then what? If seasons last years then what? Yeah god is good and his character never changes then what? Why does it seem like the “fake it till you make it” to heaven *fingers crossed* life isn’t going to suck much longer … how is that faith? I was taught it’s not but that’s where the “god disappointed me and his way is better” or “he loves me for my benefit so that anything that happens is for my benefit?” How is that faith? And what kind of creator, creates life, willingly allows havoc to occur then swoops in to SAVE THE DAY that HE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN in the first place and that’s the God we serve? How is that even possible? Truly I’m mistaken.
Jenn, thank you for sharing honesty. I feel sad that you felt worse at the end of this post. When I wrote it, I never intended it to answer many of the hard questions we have when it comes to suffering. Yes, in many places it can feel like the Christian life is a fake it ’till you make it ordeal. It’s not and I plan to write on this specific topic soon.
I had an article posted on Crosswalk this week that talks about Faking or Facing Feelings. https://www.crosswalk.com/special-coverage/depression-suicide/should-i-face-my-feelings-or-fake-them.html
It’s a start.
No single blog post can address the depth of what you’re asking about, and you are not alone in your questions. There’s so much to be discussed based on the questions you raise. It sounds like you’ve experienced a lot of pain and it makes sense to wonder all these things about God.
I wouldn’t say that faith is about getting through life sucking and hoping to get to the other side. I believe God has a lot more life, joy, and peace for us to experience regardless of circumstances.
I would disagree that God lets anything happen for our benefit. I believe God allows suffering because he allows choice. Without choice people are not free to love or not love. Because some people choose to act apart from God, on their own version of good and evil (tree in the Garden) and based on pride, absent love, people get hurt. Corruption and destruction happen. Sadly, this means we sometimes suffer as part of other people’s cruelty.
There is much more to this, but it’s what comes to mind right now.
I am so sorry for the pain you’ve endured that brought you to this point. Ugly crying is exhausting and lonely. If you want to converse further, feel free to email me as I will be turning off comments to this post. I may also do a video response to add further thoughts to the discussion, because I know many are hurting and it sucks to suffer long.
Yes, well, we are extremely disappointed that He lets us down, that He turns His face always away from us when we need Him most, that He never listens to us, that He always lets us wait for His apparently so endless mercy, that He simply leaves us alone.
We are deeply disappointed to observe that He makes this world to a hell for us, if we are very righteous and pious, and remain like that, while He always favors the wicked ones.
I can recommend you that you first read and analyze well “Job’s Story” in the Old Testament. You must digest it very comprehensively. Then, you must start asking questions. Why must a human suffer that much?
I tell you now that the equation of pious obedience and happiness is simply not valid! This happens only in fairy tales.
You shall especially read the interpretation of the famous Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung about bible in general but especially about Job’s story. You shall also get deep insight into the matter how atheists are combatting with suffering.
I already spent years with the analysis of Job’s story, and I am fed up with repeating same issues (and already outlined several important crucial parts in above contributions), but one thing I want to emphasize here, as I can’t resist:
It appears like God only considers the matters in a mathematical or quantitative way. Without any emotions, nothing! Although as being omnipotent and omniscient, He is supposed to know well that humans that He created are emotional existences. In the story Job’s ten children are killed, this is irreversible. After long suffering, Job is given wealth and prosperity again, and also this time 20 children. In a way, God probably thinks “If I now give him 20 children, i.e. double the number of children he had in the past, then we should be more than quit and he should be extremely happy!”. Such a comedy, such a ridiculousness! Job’s emotions are neglected. As if the new children are a replacement for the gone ten spirits! Any of you ever lost a child?? If yes, could you ever forget this child, if let’s say afterwards you had two more children?? Every human has its own place in our hearts!
Ohhh, and if you follow my recommendations, then what will you gain at the end?
Nothing, but at least a temporary relief, and perhaps you will write here and there again a few lines, and this will also bring some temporary relief.
Important thing is you will start breaking your chains, you will start raising your voice high against God, you will no more have the fear of a retrograde. And you shall confront and discuss all these with the priester of the church you go, with friends, and shall start illuminating everybody!
If today we are just 10, and next year we become 100, and perhaps the other year 10000, then we’ll win and He will lose a lot, and it will be a lot more than a temporary relief!
My path has changed. I lost a good job due to pandemic crisis. I have mortgage and bills to pay. I can’t find a job. I don’t know what the future holds for me.
My whole perspective and outlook on life have changed. I no longer complained about God and how He withdrew blessings from me. Before it was what God can do for me. Suddenly my eyes open up and I now see things differently. Now I don’t dwell on my desires. I look up to God and seek to enjoy His company. I enjoy reading the bible and every day I look forward to getting to know Him more.
I have nothing now. My dreams are gone. Life is going to be a struggle. Psalm 116:1-2 I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.
It is us that choose to go away from Him. I did not quite understand and before, I was quite annoyed when someone said Jesus loves you. Indeed it is very true God wants us to turn back to Him. God enjoys a relationship with us.
Jeremiah 32:38 And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
In the last 20 years, I went very frequently to the door of God with an innocent, smiling, shining face. I came to the door, rang at the bell, wanted to talk to him and tell him: “Hello, it’s me. I came to talk to you. I have this and that difficulty and a heavy burden on my shoulders, which I would like to discuss with you. Even if you just listened, it would be a great relief and solace for me. I have nobody else than you to help.”. And everytime I had to end up with the same reaction. Either the door was never opened, or He turned away His face from me, or I got a very powerful punch on my face, or a very painful kick on my stomach. Everytime I had to return with my head down, in tears and blood, totally disappointed and left alone not even knowing the reason. Everytime when I asked “Can you please tell me the reason why I am ignored and tortured while being so innocent?”, I received absolutely no answer at all. There was no answer for any why, only a total silence! While returning away with pain and agony, I was silently asking myself “Why am I always turned down? Why is mercy always kept away from me? What have I done? Why am I always doomed to suffer?”. I never received and will never receive answers. Thank you that you hate, neglect and disregard me so much.
Articles like this never help. They assume that we believe God let us down because he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. Like we all believe God is like a vending machine we use to get what we want, a simple transaction.
My situation isn’t like that. I believe God still speaks like he did in the OT, like he did in apostolic times. He make me a very specific promise and confirmed it several times, to me and my wife. The promise was made over 20 years years ago. Still nothing. No explanation. Nothing. over 20 years of suffering and unbearable pain. Nothing. But. Silence! Sure, he spoke a few consoling words, but how long do words help? How long until the only thing that helps is action instead of words? 25 years is a long time. I would call it Abrahamic time. If I made someone a promise and let 25 years pass by without doing anything to sooth their pain, people would call me cruel and evil. So God let me down. He let my wife down. He is a disappointment to us both.
Thanks you for writing this. Just t
Thanks you for writing this. I feel let down now and feel like getting help from God is 50/50. Maybe He will, maybe He won’t, and if He chooses not to, what can we do, because I trust Him to do those things I can’t do for myself. We’re stuck, w
Thanks you for writing this. I feel let down now and feel like getting help from God is 50/50. Maybe He will, maybe He won’t, and if He chooses not to, what can I do, because I trust Him to do those things I can’t do for myself. I’m stuck, with no help. Then what? If I turn to God for help, and He doesn’t help, who can I trust? There is no other God besides Him. I have nothing else.
In the last three years time, I wrote here some comments on a few occasions, last one about 14 months ago. This time, I am writing to state that I regret my previous contributions and comments full of reproaches up to the borders of blasphemy (except the last smoother comment from August 2021). Yes, I regret them all and ask God for forgiveness, mercy and understanding once again. In fact, I had already found peace and requested for pardon more than 1.5 years ago, but sometimes I was remembering those comments standing here as a digital stamp as long as these pages would exist, and hence wanted to write this letter of regret here. Those days, it should have been like that, I had no other option, I had to vomit my anger and aggression, for which I today once again beg God for mercy and forgiveness.
I am not saying all these, because all of a sudden everything changed in my life and now I live a paradise like wonderful life. No! Thousand times no! Nothing has changed, same troubles and worries are still with me, and I still suffer a lot. There have been a few moments of short respiration and a bit betterment in some aspects, but in some other aspects even a severe worsening. The simple reason why I do regret the past comments is nothing else than my love to God. I am not going to stay too much on this and write here pages of stories, and I am sure many readers can understand me well, but I simply do not consider myself in a position to blame God and/or to expect promises from Him. Only He decides for everything, possession only belongs to Him, only He defines all destinies.
In my childhood I was praying with the only joy of love to God without any expectation or request at all, and now I do the same, and have increased the amount of my prayers.
Prayer, prayer, prayer …. this is the most important thing for all of us. Never neglect it! Never give up with this habit! Never leave this door!
Hi, Franz,
I’ve long neglected my blog space here and wanted to apologize for not replying sooner. I’ve read your posts over the last few years and wondered what challenges you’ve faced that have been so difficult for you. I wondered if your replies were a way to process what’s been troubling. What a gift to see a snippet of the journey you’ve been on and how you’re experiencing love and peace with God, even while life is far from perfect. Oh, that we all would feel and know God’s love more deeply even if and when our circumstances are painful.
Thank you for checking in again here on the blog and sharing this update with us.
Since this original post, a lot has changed for me as well. I went to grad school for my Masters in Counseling at the Townsend Institute with Concordia University. I’ve grown more and continued to work on my writing so I can convey messages that are helpful for growth as Christians.
I wish you all the best Franz. Whether you’re feeling angry or happy today, may you know God’s love is with you always and God never changes. May you know more of his goodness.
Take care,
Jolene
Hi Jolene,
Thank you very much for your response and for your dedicated time. In my name and in the name of all others, I further thank you for providing us with this platform and dealing with very important subjects like suffering whose insights are usually considered to be taboo.
Also congratulations for your studies and new degree. One can immediately observe, how well you write, how wonderful, meaningful and targeted you formulate words and sentences, and how effective you provide great comfort and how you clearly show to have understood the other party. You must never stop writing and have a lot of great work, tasks and achievements to perform in your future.
We shall never forget that God cares for every creature He created, and all are equally very important to Him. God never leaves us alone! He is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, omnituens and omniaudient.
I send you my deepest love and hope to meet you one day to thank you personally with my presence, and if this was not possible, then hopefully in another dimension.
Who knows, perhaps one day we may form together a “gang of crying” and travel the planet to meet and cry with every sufferer. We may teach mercy to humanity. Mercy is such an elixir that we need like air and water. We may tell them: “You would have understood, if you could have cried. Your sealed hearts should be opened. Dismantle all the roofs and all the fake water pipes from your homes! Have contact with the sky! Build up mercy networks from home to home! Then you will notice that instead of bitter water, only sweet water will come out from those pipes!”.
All the best!
Your Franz
Jolene – this is a great article. I would love to ask a follow up question – what about when you’re praying to the Holy Spirit for life’s direction… a big move that would provide more job opportunities as God wants his believers to be growing (versus in an area that is stagnant) or whether you should break off an engagement. A person is left with silence. Not a yes, no, or wait. Just silence. You want to do God’s will for your life and have Him direct your steps. When you get no acknowledgment, you feel let down.
Hi, KP, I’m so sorry for the delay in response. It’s frustrating to not know what to do when there are big life options in front of you. Personally, I’ve found there are times when God’s voice feels very minimal. There was a time when I poured out my frustration and sensed God’s response as one that initially frustrated more. In the end, it prompted a lot of growth and peace.
How often do we wish God worked like a Magic 8 ball? We could say the prayer and get the exact answer we need. Yet, more often than not, we are not give direct answers to our original questions. We feel let down by God when we expect him to work the way we want him to work. Rather, God is God and provides what we need to receive what he is offering. In the end, the help he offers is better than a yes or no answer, even when it doesn’t feel that way at the time.
I’ve found it helpful to be honest with God about the thoughts and feelings I have when I’m dissappointed, let down, or feeling abandoned. A tool I created, called Unleash: Heart & Soul Care Sheets, has helped me process my thoughts and feelings WITH God. It’s also helped me to hear what he IS saying. If you’re interested in finding out more you can find info on the Unleash page here or purchase them at the Unleash Sheets hub.
If you’re interested, you can find my story of healing from stress & trauma on YouTube.
I know it’s been awhile since you posted this, but I wanted to tell you I am praying today for the provision and comfort you need as you make challenging decisions.