Lord – I can’t say anything I haven’t said a thousand times before. Haven’t you already heard? I want to believe that you are good even though I am still waiting. And Lord, it’s been years. Will I wait forever? Help my unbelief. 

A raw prayer uttered in daily communion with the Father. Sometimes its easy to pour this out. Sometimes not. Some seasons are harder & longer than others.

There are days when you feel prayed out, talked out, cried out, and pretty much just dried out.

I’ve been there many times.

Waiting seems like a lifestyle rather than a season. Answers seem altruistic and altogether unattainable.

Life stretches on and you find yourself walking on paths you never thought you’d take.

Even when. Especially then. God is good & He is present.

When the heart needs to be held & the soul needs satisfying.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. – Matthew 11:28-29

Feet don’t want to move & a body waits, but soul refreshing is the nourishment needed to find new life.

Even when. Especially then. God is good & He is present.

His words remembered…{Psalm 119}

My soul clings to the dust;
give me life according to your word!

and

My soul melts away for sorrow:
strengthen me according to your word!

and

You have dealt well with your servant,
O LORD, according to your word.

and

I am severely afflicted;
give me life, O LORD, according to your word!

and

Let my cry come before you, O LORD:
give me understanding according to your word!

and

Let my plea come before you;
deliver me according to you word.

evenwhen

The psalmist’s heart knew how to cry out in raw emotion. These pleas? From the heart of one who knew waiting & knew struggles.

More than this, the Psalmist knew something life-giving and soul nourishing.

Faith grows according to the Word.

Even when. Especially then. God is good & He is present.

Oh give thanks to the Lord , for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!
Let Israel say, “His steadfast love endures forever.”
Let the house of Aaron say, “His steadfast love endures forever.”
Let those who fear the Lord say, “His steadfast love endures forever.”
– Psalm 118: 1-4

Friends – let not your heart stay welled up inside a dam. Eventually, all man-made barriers crack and crumble. Let your heart flow freely to the Father.

Before the Lord who withstands it all, let it out and lay it bare.

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?
The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.
– Psalm 118: 5-9

As the days of November march on, set your eyes upon Him, even if & especially when it feels hard to take the next step.

Let us sing praises and adore Him in the midst of even when, even if and even though.

Even when. Especially then. God is good & He is present.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. – Deuteronomy 31:8

Would you lay your pain and fears raw and real before your Redeemer? He knows. He can take it.

with love, Jolene

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