I can’t tell you how many times I think I know something one minute, and the next I have no idea what I was just thinking of. In some ways its similar to what many of us deal with as we get older, as we become parents, and as life just gets busy. However, this kind of sudden brain disruption goes further than anything I’d experienced prior to a few years ago.
Even when in the middle of doing something intentional, for a few scary seconds I don’t recall what happened minutes prior or what’s supposed to happen in the minutes to come. I find myself suspended in thought while my brain plays catch up. It’s frustrating at best. Whether accurate or not, I call it trauma brain.
At this point, I start asking myself questions and try to remember what’s supposed to happen next. Sometimes this does little to generate movement so I simply choose to move my body. I get up, or start walking or driving. I move forward even when I’m not sure where I’m headed. As I do, the gears in my brain move too and things become a little clearer.
When I get caught up in the minutia of all the foggy particles clogging my brain, I get stuck. Instead, I chose one movement. One step towards one goal.
Sometimes stepping forward in faith is less about achieving great things and more about choosing to look forward rather than dwell in the muck.
Momentum in some direction helps even if it’s potentially the wrong direction. When we are open to the Holy Spirit’s guidance, we can alter course once we’ve started. But staying on the dock doesn’t get me anywhere.
Similarly, when I feel stuck in life, paralyzed by fear or indecision, I choose to take one step forward even if it might be in the wrong direction. As long as it’s not in opposition to God, I can give it a try. In faith.
We hear this phrase often, “walk in faith.” I wonder, do we really know what it means?
God often speaks to me in images which help me understand vague concepts at a deeper level. Join me as we imagine standing on the shore. Could be a lake, an ocean, or a river. Whatever water-side image God brings to mind. There you are, standing on the edge. Summoned to cross over. The water is too deep to walk through and you have no boat. Still, you sense this nudge in your spirit to take a step forward.
You wonder how this could happen. Jesus walked on water, but that’s not what he’s asking you to do. Or is it? Unsure of how to cross. Unsure if He’s going to provide for you, or how in the world he possibly could. And unsure of staying above water, the call you hear is either gently nudging, or all out tugging.
So, you lift your leg. At first you just raise it up while your body shakes and tries to stay balanced. Will you move forward? Will you stay like this? Will you set your foot right back where it was?
He beckons you, keep going.
You make the movement of setting your foot upon the water despite unknowns. Just as you set your foot down, a piling raises up. It is sturdy and it provides just the space you need to bear the weight of your body as you lean forward and bring over your other foot.
God reveals what you’ll stand on. The foundation was really there all along, but it took an active movement forward, in faith, to see it and make use of it. By trusting His provision, you are given new visibility. By moving forward with Him, you saw Him provide what you needed, when you needed it.
We often face challenging situations in life where we wish someone could just tell us what to do and how to do it. We look for a path already taken. We want assurance that we will reach the destination ahead of us. When we don’t get it, we could stay stuck while hoping something just miraculously changes.
Instead, God works in ways we don’t understand. He asks us to trust and step forward regardless of what we cannot see. He provides what we need, not what we want.
Choose today, to move towards the voice of God. He will set your foot on the rock.
“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud & mire; he set my foot on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” ~ Psalm 40:2
CULTIVATE: What is one small step of faith you can take today? You don’t need to charge up the whole mountain. Just choose one step. Then another. Then another.