This morning I awoke in darkness. The hour was early as I began to write. Maybe too early. I found it challenging to begin and prayed the words would come.
“God, I need you.”
I pray this short prayer daily and often throughout. When I don’t know what to ask or say anymore, or when I feel weary from long seasons of prayer, I know the Holy Spirit intercedes and God listens.
Our need is met by His abundance.
I’m sitting alone in a quiet room on the Texas coast with a few extra hours to write, so it can get frustrating when I don’t know how to start even though I know where I want to go. I have the time and I want to make the most of it. I want to be exceedingly productive.
What God wants for me is often quite different. He gets hard after me at times. He reminds me to lean into hearing from Him instead of all the words I say to myself about what I should do and how I should do it.
I stepped outside onto the balcony which provides a view of the ocean. Along the skyline are low clouds hovering over waters which are calmer this morning.
Behind them, I see the pink and orange hues which indicate the sun is rising, even though I can’t yet see it.
Suddenly, I’m reminded about the word my pastor spoke over me three years ago. He said God was renaming me and my name was Brightness. In the midst of depression, anxiety, and probable PTSD, I was called to see beyond the dark clouds of circumstances to the bright goodness of God.
God met my heart and sought me out, reminding me to see with eyes of faith. This was my great desire, but pain had been suffocating it out. Over the last few years this prophecy has become more clear. It has been found to be true.
As I look across the ocean to the sun still hidden, I’m reminded of how God works behind the scenes and we often don’t see it. Our human eyes might see the vastness of challenges spread out like the seas, without recognizing the beauty which lies just beyond.
Our hope lies not in what we see around us but in who we see with us.
That glorious sun is always there, burning far brighter than we could even come close to taking in. We would burn up from the full sight of it. God’s great light is infinitely brighter and has the power to demolish strongholds in our life and make the enemy flee.
Choose to see the Son who remains present regardless of circumstantial clouds.
Be not overcome with the size of oceanic troubles. Ask God to remind your heart of the hues of his glory visible today, in the now and the not yet. This is choosing hope.
That sun will peak over the clouds soon. Even if the clouds were in full force and covering every inch of visible sky, they would eventually dissipate. God’s light always breaks through.
When it does, may we see it all consuming. May we know this goodness is just a fraction of the fullness of God’s glory.
As his radiance overwhelms our vision, we are no longer seeing the challenges around us. Instead, we bask in the light while looking down and taking one step at a time. In faith.
It frustrates me when I don’t see action happening and I’m not getting done the things I want to get done. Yet, these glimpses of His goodness remind me there is hope beyond what I want and what I know now.
We may wake up in darkness, but let's remember His light is coming over the horizon.