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This post is part of the 31 Days to Believe series in October 2015. What we believe impacts how we live. Choose to believe & #livewell.

Like cymbals clanging while driving through Austin traffic, the thoughts flooded in. Thoughts which quickly spiraled from fact to fretting, of the highest order.

Somehow I knew the enemy was at play as I recalled something I had recently found out. The information itself was a fact, but the way I had it all played out led to non-facts which were devastating. And I sobbed. Right there on the ramp to a major highway. Tears streamed.

Believe in Wonder #write31days #amwriting #31DaystoBelieve

UGH! I just wanted to scream. The enemy’s presence so strong, whispering all kinds of harmful thoughts straight into my soul. Everything I knew about fighting him bound up within me.

But, deep inside truth still rang clear. Two of the enemies greatest tactics are lies and isolation. He was deploying both at the same time and it was time to fight.

I chose to text a couple friends.

“Please pray.”

What I felt weak to do on my own, my friend helped me with when she called back. I needed to actively reject those lies and take my feelings to God with utter abandon.

All the pain. All the felt rejection. All the played-out-scenarios which could possibly happen, but in reality weren’t very probable. All the worry. All the anxiety. All the fear.

I cried. We cried out to God in prayer.

Why is it that one good day, or good season, can make us forget some of the things which give us life? Like giving praise, proclaiming thanks, worship, and reading His word.

Why are we so prone to wander?

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, Lord. Take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.

What if we were more prone to wonder?

Come thou font of every blessing.

This morning those gut junky feelings continued to loom. So, I turned on Spotify, choosing worship over worry. When praise music floods the mind thoughts often change direction.

And I wonder.

At His glory that surpasses all devastation.

At His love for sinners and saints alike, because really we’re all sinners no matter how hard we try to be saints.

At who He is and how He’s far more than I could ever imagine.

At the mercy and grace he shows me every single day, as needed and in abundance.

At how He always knows all the details, and in His wisdom doesn’t give them all to us but calls us to trust Him instead.

Hurt hasn’t left, but in wonder the healer shows His presence. The enemy is defeated as the fog of defeat lifts. When all else seems dim and dark, praise turns hearts towards the Light of Christ.

And I wonder.

When our thoughts tend to wander, Lord help us turn to wonder.

At the stars in the night, I wonder
At Your lightning in the sky, I shudder
Your glory is a blanket that covers
Every living thing
I’m in awe at the majesty of who You are
Your love is a seal burnt inside my heart
All of the day I want to be where You are
Holy Father
~~~~~~~~~~~
And it feels like there’s not enough praise inside of me
With all these words, all my heart can sing is holy
You are holy
~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesus Christ
You bled Your love, laid down Yourself
And gave me life
In naked shame You hung and You were lifted high
Here I lay in awe and wonder
I am afraid
For no one’s ever sacrificed and loved me this way
~~~~~~~~~~
So on my face I fall under Your heavy grace
Here I lay in awe and wonder
And I wonder

For an engaging discussion about facts and how we respond to them, I invite you to view or listen to my recent interview with Susan Seay.

#31DaystoBelieve #Write31DaysThank you for joining me in #31DaystoBelieve as we pursue what we believe and how it impacts our lives.
For all archived posts once they are finished, please click here.
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May we learn to #livewell.

with love,
Jolene

 

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